Business Email Example: Magic Cruise
I reviewed the cruise descriptions that Magic Cruise sent us and have a few suggestions for improving them before we send them to the tour developers. After talking to Ron and reviewing the updated information on the Magic website, I found three weaknesses. The major problem is that the list of cruises is out of date. Magic Cruise no longer offers the Cradle of Civilization cruise in the southern Mediterranean. The descriptions are also organized alphabetically, and a geographic organization makes more sense for the tour developers. Another problem is the descriptions contain a few typos and grammatical errors. Also, the cost of cruises are incorrect. I have asked Magic Cruise to send us a new price list for their services. We will also add the cost. There are new promotional offers being provided to their regular clients by the company. A list of promotions should be designed and properly added.
I recommend that we complete the following tasks to solve these problems:
- Update the list of cruises. We should update the list of cruises to remove those that are no longer offered and add any new ones. I can verify with Magic that their website has the information for update.
- Proofread and edit the descriptions of cruises. Correct grammatical and typo errors in descriptions.
- Organize descriptions of cruises according to their geographical locations. Divide them into several geographical areas and correct descriptions according to new orders. This will make more sense for the tour developers.
- Correct prices according to the Magic Cruise price list. Add a column for a charge for extra services provided by the company.
Design and organize promotional offers provided by Magic Cruise.
Please prepare a proposal to include one or more of Magic Cruise tours in your tour packages. We will select three tours and cruise pairs to add to our packages. Include the following information in your proposal:
- Name and location of the Quest tour
- Name and home port of the Magic cruise
- Itinerary of the tour and cruise
We will discuss these recommendations and your proposal when we meet on Thursday, April 27.
East Project, Inc.
1550 Oceanview Avenue
Montreal, OK 74127