Adopting Older Foster Children
Explain Why More People Should Consider Adopting Older Foster Children
Humans are social beings and we need each other in order to survive. It is a great feeling to love, but it is an even greater feeling to be loved. A family or friend brings about that feeling and it becomes deeper after spending time together and getting to understand each other better. A child needs to be loved and provided for in the best way possible and that is where adoption comes in and helps children. A person is able to adopt a child, care for and provide love for that child as if he or she was his or her own. Most adopted children have undergone a lot of challenges and brutality and therefore need a lot of loving and attention. My goal in this paper is to show how important it is to foster older children, and how beneficial it can be to them and the society at large.
I think that more people should consider adopting older foster children because they have been through a lot of challenges and have therefore matured a great deal. With age comes responsibility and maturity. Most children want to be with their biological parents no matter the case. Staying in foster homes can be very challenging because of the need to adapt to a new environment with different people. A child who has been in several foster homes may have a sense of rejection and may get provoked if he or she feels rejected in a new foster home.
Separation has a big impact on people and it causes them grief. Separation can be caused through death, distance, court order, or parents not being able to provide for their child anymore. It is a process and requires time to heal. At first a child is in shock especially if he or she lost loved ones through death. After sometime the child may feel angry and start being distant. The children start questioning themselves, and become angry with their parents for giving them up. They wonder what could have caused such a situation. Later if these children are unsuccessful they are filled with despair and easily give up. At this time such a child needs to be comforted and paid attention to in order to have hope that someone somewhere still cares and things are going to be better.
Finally, he or she starts becoming optimistic and stops thinking about the people that have been lost. They start learning to love new people and accepting them. For an older child this process is shorter and can more easily adapt to a new family.
Older children are more responsible and therefore less likely to get into trouble.They take responsibility for what they have done more readily and are less likely to lie or steal. Older children require less supervision and you can leave them at home alone and trust that everything will be in order when you get back. An older child is able to be realistic and accept fate by differentiating between fact and fiction. Younger children may push away the foster parents by believing that they took them away from their biological parents. Older children are not so resistant to change; they come to terms with the truth of the matter instead of fighting change. Older children easily “let go” and accept their new foster parents. The opposite is also applicable, as older children are also more likely to get into trouble because of such things as unprotected sex and drug abuse. They can make bad or irrational decisions which can impair their future and hence need to be guided and protected. They need to stay in school and study so that they can be productive.
Children are our future and we should mold our children in order for them to have a bright future, and in turn they will do the same for their children. We should adopt more older foster children because they have a lot of potential to succeed because most of them have been through challenges and brutality. It is important to give these children a chance, as they also deserve to experience the love and attention of a family. They have been through many experiences, and yet their further growth may also be dependent on having a strong familiar connection.
Jarratt, C. J. (19791978). Adopting the older child. Harvard, Mass.: Harvard Common Press.
Askeland, L. (2006). Children and youth in adoption, orphanages, and foster care: a historical handbook and guide. Westport, Conn.: Greenwood Press.
Adamec, C. A., & Miller, L. C. (2007). The encyclopedia of adoption (3rd ed.). New York: Facts On File.
Kerman, B., Freundlich, M., & Maluccio, A. N. (2009). Achieving permanence for older children and youth in foster care. New York: Columbia University Press.